Caregiver Burnout

I was not prepared. 

I went into caring for my mom with my head held high, full of love and intention—and then it hit me. A few months in, I found myself experiencing all the classic signs of caregiver burnout:

• Low energy

• Fatigue

• Managing stress with food

• Withdrawal from activities

• Neglecting personal needs

• Feeling like caregiving is controlling your life

• Irritability and being argumentative

• Anxiety about the future

• Depression

• Difficulty coping with everyday issues

• Physical illness

When my mom got sick, people flooded into our lives. We had so much support—messages, prayers, calls, constant check-ins. Some mornings I woke up to 5–15 messages asking for updates on her condition. It was overwhelming, but I saw it as part of the duty I had taken on.

I postponed my move. Technically, I was in a transition period anyway, so I stayed. I became her caregiver—making sure she got to appointments, managing medications, preparing food, monitoring her symptoms, and trying to ease her discomfort. And the truth? It felt like a weight on my chest that wouldn’t lift.

The only things that kept me from completely unraveling were the few boundaries I held tightly:

1. My morning meditation with coffee

2. Daily workouts at the gym

3. Therapy—1 to 2 times per week

Keeping some resemblance of normalcy in the chaos was hard. I was combative at times toward the support I did have. I was emotional—overwhelmed with endless tears, frustration, and a frozen feeling that made it hard to function. Some days, I truly thought I would never make it out of the spiral.

Recommendations: How to Support a Caregiver

If someone in your life is caring for a loved one, here’s how you can actually support them:

• Don’t rush in—follow up later.
  Be the person who calls 1–3 months in to check on them. That’s when the support starts fading but the burnout is peaking.

• Offer your time.
  An hour to walk outside, be alone, or rest is critical. Don’t underestimate how much this means.

• Offer to clean.
  While care is being given, housework often falls to the side. This small act goes a long way.

• Ask how they like to be loved.
  Sometimes, it’s not advice or action—it’s just sitting with them while they cry. A long hug, a safe moment.

• Delay gifts.
  The initial influx is overwhelming. But a month or two later, they may have a clearer idea of what would actually help.

• Ask about them.
  Before you ask about the person they're caring for, check in on them. Caregivers are constantly updating others. Rarely does someone ask, "But how are YOU?"

  And please—just listen. They don’t need more recommendations. They need to be witnessed.